


anomaly

by myfivemeters



Category: tom holland - Fandom
Genre: F/M, M/M, based on the only exception by paramore, i absolutely JAMMED to paramore while listening to this, i can't believe tessa has her own tag, more feelings, request from tumblr, that makes me so happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 05:22:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14867420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myfivemeters/pseuds/myfivemeters
Summary: you had come close, a few times. different flings that, at first, seemed as if they could last, but inevitably fell apart. now romantic relationships just made you squeamish, and even just the thought of putting your emotional wellbeing into someone else’s hands made your stomach turn with anxiety.and then you met him.





	anomaly

love was a foreign concept to you; it was the sun and you were a distant planet, unable to feel its warmth and life. you had seen what love could do. it ruined your parents’ lives because they fell in love too quick, too recklessly, and burned out in the same fashion. too many of your friends would come to you, crying and broken after another relationship that had slipped between their fingers. you swore to yourself that you would never let yourself follow the beaten path—you would never let yourself get hurt by love, like it had done to so many of the people you cared about.

you had come close, a few times. different flings that, at first, seemed as if they could last, but inevitably fell apart. now romantic relationships just made you squeamish, and even just the thought of putting your emotional well-being into someone else’s hands made your stomach turn with anxiety.

and then you met _him._

everything about your relationship was unconventional. you had met by pure chance: he was walking out of a café just as you were walking in. one spilled tea and a new shirt later and you both had exchanged numbers with promises of speaking again soon—

“while i’m still in town? promise,” he had said with a shy smile, and you couldn’t understand how _tom holland_ was acting shy around you, a nobody compared to a talented and famous actor.

you nodded, despite your inner instinct telling you not to. “of—of course, yes,” you replied, stumbling through each word like it was your first. “i still owe you tea, don’t i?”

he smiled wider at that and said his goodbyes. tom went his way, you went yours, and part of you wanted that to be it. all of your past experiences were screaming that you shouldn’t, couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ let yourself try this, because not only was love impossible, but it could never work between two people with lives that were never meant to converge.

and yet…hours later, you had found yourself typing out a text, asking if there was anything in the city he wanted to see while he was still around. his reply was near immediate, and it sent a funny feeling through your chest, knowing that he had been waiting for you to contact him. your subconscious knew it was just the beginning of what you could—would—feel for tom, but the forefront of your mind refused to believe it. true love, the kind people wrote and sang hopelessly about, did not exist.

one date turned into two, then three, and before you knew it, you were counting down the days until he was close to you again every month, every year; movies came and passed, and yet nothing broke you two apart even when you expected it. his friends adored you, his family had accepted you as their own when your split parents wouldn’t, and tom involved you in every part of his life. you were all over his instagram, his twitter, and every other social media platform he had.

“i love you, ___,” he had murmured into your hair, one quiet night in his living room. you had been visiting him for a few weeks, a break from your life at home, and you were just about to fall asleep, almost lulled into slumber by the lilt of his accent and the warmth of his arms around you.

you pulled away, all thoughts of sleep forcefully pushed from your mind. “i—i can’t, i’m not—” you breathed heavily, struggling to convey the exact fear his confession made you feel, how you didn’t want to ruin everything good you had built together, how you knew love was a lie and you weren’t going to let yourself live it.

he pulled you back into him, rubbing your back softly and slowly. “it’s alright, i’m sorry, love.” there it was again, that word that made your thoughts seize up with anxiety. “are you—are you not sure about this anymore?”

“no! no, i just…” you had no idea where to begin…

so you started at the beginning. you explained your parents, your friends, all of your past experiences, until you had nothing left you could say to make him see love the way you saw it. tom sat there for a few seconds, looking at you with what you could only describe as sadness with a touch of pity. you looked to your hands with shame and waited for him to tell you to leave, that this just wouldn’t work—

“hey,” he whispered, grabbing your hands gently as you looked back up at him. “i know you don’t think so, but i do love you. i promise i’ll get you to believe me.”

you really hadn’t believed him, then. you thought he meant he would try to “buy” your love, like others had done in the past. but he hadn’t; he texted you constantly, always telling you he loved you. tom would surprise you at work when he wasn’t even supposed to be in town. slowly, so slowly, he filled in your emptiness, patching the holes in your life left behind by an aching loneliness you had never realized you had.

it took even longer for you to discover that he had made you whole. you were sitting with him in his home, much, much later than the first time he told you he loved you. boxes containing pieces of your life surrounded you, signifying the leap you had made into his life. you both were sitting on the floor, tom laughing at your exaggerated struggle to unpack as tessa excitedly paced and jumped around all of your belongings.

you looked at tom and, in that moment, it felt like you were truly seeing him for the first time—his eyes, crinkled with happiness, his brown curls, his hands, calloused and rough but so calming on your skin. suddenly, it seemed as if that one, final barrier broke inside of you, and abruptly you felt like you were drowning in some feeling so foreign, so strange, that you couldn’t put your finger on it. it was dancing right on the tip of your tongue, but it was just out of your reach. one, small part of you was still trying to shield you, protect you from the danger it thought you could experience.

“you terrify me, you know that?” you told him.

“and why’s that?” tom replied, voice still filled with his laugh.

you traced the fingers splayed on your thigh. “because…” you felt breathless. a tight feeling had taken hold in your chest, and millions of words fighting to express what you were feeling crowded in your mouth. “you could ruin me, so easily,” you turned his hand over, feeling his soft palm. “but you don’t.”

he smiled, grasping the hand that had been dancing over his own. “that’s love, isn’t it? you could do the same to me, but you don’t. and i would never, _ever_ do that to you, darling. and you wouldn’t, either.”

finally, _finally,_ you caught the word, the feeling, that you had been searching for moments before. your mouth opened to say the words you had always abhorred, but before you even could he swept you into his arms, understanding despite the fact that your long-awaited reply hadn’t even left your mouth.

you didn’t exactly believe in love, yet. you were getting there, slowly but surely, but you weren’t quite there yet. for you, it was still a rule, a law that governed your life; love still didn’t feel entirely real to you. but sitting there, encased in tom’s arms, you started to doubt your previous assumption. the rule still existed, but tom…tom was something else. a different rule.

an exception, maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! as always, please please please give feedback, tell me what you like/didn't like, and if you want me to write something, head over to my tumblr (svedone) and send me a request!!


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